Looking for a way to reward your child for good behavior?

Try using this approach: Reward your child by spending time with her. Choose one of her favorite activities and give her your full attention.

For 3-6 year olds, try:

Playing dress-up
Reading books
Playing a simple board game
Coloring, drawing, painting
Doing puzzles
Playing hide & seek
Going to a playground, pool or spraypark
Building with construction toys (like Legos)

For 6-8 year olds, try:

Playing tag or hide & seek
Taking a walk or bike ride
Listening as your child reads aloud to you
Playing a card or board game
Drawing or painting
Building a fort
Playing dominoes

For 9-11 year olds, try:

Playing toss & catch
Camping
Going to a movie
Fishing
Baking or cooking together
Biking
Swimming

These ideas are from the CAN Council’s Great Start University parenting class. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.

You give your children multiple gifts each day: love, time, fun, and you work hard to fulfill their basic needs. Our gift to you this Father’s Day is a list of conversation starters to use when you just need a little help talking with your child at the end of a long day.

* What was your favorite part of today?

* What was 1 nice thing you did for somebody else today?

* If you could be a superhero (or princess), which one would you choose to be? Why?

* What’s your favorite way to spend a warm, sunny day?

* What’s the best part about being ____ years old?

* What’s the worst part about being ____ years old?

* If you could change 1 thing about yourself, what would it be?

* What is it about your best friend that you like?

* What would be the most fun job to have when you grow up?

Happy Father’s Day to the most special men in our children’s lives!

Are chores becoming boring & tedious in your house? Are your kids griping every time it’s their turn to help?

Try using this approach: Pair up a parent to share a chore with a child. Or, assign 2 kids to 1 chore.

Your child will have more fun getting his chore done if he has some company. Plus, he’ll feel like he’s getting his job done using only half the effort! And, you’ll still be getting some help with the housework.

Other ideas for making chores more fun: Turn on some music and challenge everyone in the house to clean for 1 or 2 songs. Or, swap jobs: moms do your sons’ job; sons do your moms’ job.

Adapted from the Great Start University parenting class offered by the CAN Council. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.

Dad reminds Annie several times to wash the breakfast dishes, which she has forgotten to do three times this week. Annie continues listening to her iPod and tells her dad to get off her back.

Sound familiar? Sometimes it seems like it’s more work to get your child to help with household chores than it would be to just do them yourself!

Try using this approach: Tell Annie it makes you feel frustrated when she acts this way. Speak calmly and be clear about what you want done and when you want to have it done by. Tell Annie what the consequence is if she doesn’t do the dishes. (The best consequence is something you’ve agreed to in advance when you discussed what chores each person will help with). Let her know that since she’s also spoken to you disrespectfully, she’ll get another consequence. Ignore any further misbehavior and assign consequences right away. When she begins the dishes, praise her for her being helpful.

Adapted from the Great Start University parenting class offered by the CAN Council. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.

Dad is trying to get his children ready for school in the morning. His son, Theo, won’t eat his breakfast, and his daughter, Rosie, is taking too long to choose her outfit.

Sound familiar? It can be frustrating getting yourself ready for work and dealing with the needs of your children at the same time. It’s especially frustrating when your children don’t understand the pressure you face to be on-time for work.

Try using this approach: Praise both children for what they have already done to get themselves ready. Ask Theo why he’s not eating. If he’s not hungry, compromise and ask him to just have a little breakfast so he can get through the morning at school without getting hungry. If he doesn’t like his breakfast, offer him 1 chance to trade it for something else you find acceptable. Give Rosie 2 choices of outfits and a timeframe within which she needs to choose 1. Let her know if she can’t make the choice herself, you’ll make it for her. Praise both kids when they do what you’ve asked. Ignore any misbehavior so you don’t reinforce it with your attention.

At the end of the day, have a family meeting. Sit down and discuss what needs to happen each morning. Allow room for choices. For example, your child might have to get dressed and eat his breakfast. But, let him know each day he’ll have 2 outfits to choose from. And, he can choose what cereal & fruit he wants for breakfast. Let them know the rewards and consequences for helping get ready in the morning. If they’re mature enough, let them help determine the reward & consequences.

Adapted from the Great Start University parenting class offered by the CAN Council. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.

Mom hears Cheyenne crying and asks her what happened. Cheyenne tells her that her brother, Damon, hit her for no reason.

Sound familiar? Getting along with siblings takes time and practice for any child.

Try using this approach: First, take care of any injury Cheyenne might have. In front of both children, let Cheyenne know it’s never okay for anyone to treat her this way. Let Damon know what he did was wrong and give him a reasonable punishment. Inform him that because the punishment is reasonable, you’re not going to argue about your decision. If Damon tries to argue, let him know he’ll receive an additional punishment. Don’t argue back.

A note about the use of punishment to deal with behavior problems: Punishments are most effective if they’re agreed to in advance of a problem. When this situation ends and the punishment is over, Mom should sit down with Damon in private and tell him that the whole family needs to feel safe. Let him know that hitting is not allowed. And, work with him to determine what the punishment will be if he hits Cheyenne in the future.

Adapted from the Great Start University parenting class offered by the CAN Council. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.

Mom gets a call from Tim’s math teacher. He hasn’t been doing well on tests and isn’t turning in his homework.

Sound familiar? Before you guess at what’s causing your child to do poorly in math, talk with him about the phone call from his teacher.

Try using this approach: Find a time for you and your child to talk separately from any brothers & sisters. Tell him about his math teacher’s concerns. Ask him if he knows what might be causing the problem. Determine what he needs to do better: a quiet place to do his homework, after school help, and/or someone to study with before tests. Talk about how you will help him with these things (like setting up a quiet homework spot in the spare bedroom). Before ending the conversation, let your child help you determine appropriate consequences and rewards for doing better in math. And, discuss how you will check in with him and the teacher to see how he’s improving. Talk with the teacher about the conversation and enlist her help.

Adapted from the Great Start University parenting class offered by the CAN Council. Call Vera at (989) 752-7226 to learn more.